The Past (2011-2020)

Giveaway updates and where I’ll be in the next few days

BAM! This mah face y’all! New FB profile photo.
I loved my hair that day and the wind made it prettier~

First of all, thank you to everyone who participated in my anniversary contest. I haven’t been around lately because I’ve been invested in reading ebooks and writing sometimes in my entertainment blog, but I’ve been online. I will announce the winner of my giveaway next week or the week after because there are things I have to do this coming week, which I will discuss in a while. You’d think for someone who is unemployed, I have all the time in the world, but no. Then again, this was unexpected.

Second, if you’re from Filipino Bloggers Worldwide and I owe you a comment/like/whatever, I promise to return the favor next weekend. Promise. I would dedicate a day to everyone, well the active ones, to grace your blogs with my presence. Naks!

On with the show.

Mom and I have been going to Victory Alabang for a couple of months now and found ourselves blessed with the preachings of Pastor Sonny. We shifted from attending the 12noon Sunday sermon to the 6pm Saturdays one because honestly, I have a HARD time waking up in the morning. You see, I’m a vampire, well no, not really. That does not compute. Anyway, going to Victory wasn’t hard. At first I would be like “you go to church, why do you have to drag me too?” or “Kfine I’d go but don’t expect me to like it”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a born-and-raised Christian, 3rd generation as a matter of fact, but after events that occurred a couple of years back, I lost interest in going to church. I’d always tell myself that I don’t need to go to church to praise or talk to God, He’s omnipresent, I can talk to Him anytime, anywhere I want. But I was wrong. Even though my faith in Him never faltered, I was somehow lost. You know how you have this really close friend that knows everything about your life, someone you tell all your secrets to, and after that friend moves away or goes through a new phase on his/her life that you grow apart and lose contact? That’s how I was with God. I still prayed, I still sang praises, but not as often as I should have. I haven’t even read the Bible in years. I know He’s still there for me, but I wasn’t there for Him.

I closed a door, God opened a window. That’s how I feel/felt when I went to Victory. Somehow I made up my mind that going to church was a waste of time but there was also a part of me that thought “Maybe this time it’ll be different. Maybe this is what God wants for me.” It’s only been a couple of months but now, I actually look forward to attending and praising God and hearing His word. I don’t know if that’s because I’m more ~*~mature~*~ now or if it has something to do with the environment. I don’t really know anyone there, my mom has some friends/former colleagues who go there, but despite that fact, I felt welcome.

That’s just the background, here’s what I really wanted to share in the first place. Every after service, my mom would walk to the pastor, shake his hand, and tell him what a blessing he is as an instrument of God. They would chat for a while and then we’d be on our way. One Saturday, my mom mentioned something about me needing Christian friends and the pastor suggested that I join a Victory group, [which I actually signed up for a couple of weeks back but haven’t heard from anyone], he then called the attention of Jenny, a group leader, introduced us, and invited me to join her group, which was a newly established group, that’s scheduled to meet every Monday evening. Unfortunately, we were not able to meet for the first few weeks. Something would always come up, conflict of schedule [with mom], heavy period, bad weather, etc. Then two weeks ago, I got a text message from Jaja who is inviting me to attent the small group on a Saturday afternoon. I thought this Jaja was the same person who Jenny would refer to in her texts so I obliged.

Come Saturday I find out that this was a different Jaja. Another girl was already there, JB/Jayvee [forgot to ask how to spell her name], and they already started because I was SOOOO late [first time I commuted going there so I haven’t timed it properly]. And it felt so good to feel welcome, and sharing my story wasn’t difficult either. It’s like we’ve known each other for a long time and I could just say anything about myself and I wouldn’t be judged. I haven’t felt like that in a long time.

After our devotion and sharing, we got to talk a bit and found out that Jaja is the niece of mom’s former colleague. Talk about a small world! We agreed to meet every Saturday for the small group and I was to undergo the One2One, which is like a back to basics thing that everyone has to go through. During our second meeting, a different girl was present while JB/Jayvee wasn’t able to make it. Kate and I shared the same interests in reading young adult novels which initiated a long chat. We even went and sat in church together. It was fun.

The next day, I started my One2One session with Jaja and it really was pretty basic stuff but I was happy to be reminded of those basic things that I fail to do on my own. Considering I’m from the 3rd generation of born again Christians, I should have been setting the example instead of being reminded of what needs to be done. Embarrassing.

On Monday, I finally went to meet with Jenny’s group. Apart from us two, Jermaine was there too. She was walking with a cane and with the help of her mom and I didn’t think about it at first until Jenny asked questions. Turns out this lovely lady had a stroke last year and was paralyzed. The doctors didn’t think she’d ever wake up but with everyone’s prayers and God’s grace, she opened her eyes and lived to tell her tale. Her faith and will was so strong that she can walk now. It’s still a struggle for her but she is grateful for every little thing God has willed her to do. Every step is a blessing. Her doctors said her recovery is a miracle and even now that she’s undergoing therapy, every day is still a miracle. Her story is such an inspiration that I was overwhelmed and started saying things about myself I shouldn’t have. Then I started crying. What a wuss. 😐

Anyway, I felt so good afterwards. All the while we were talking and she was sharing her story, I was thinking she could be the inspiration I needed for my growth as a Christian and as a person in my walk with God. We were meant to meet, God meant for our paths to cross. Of course after that day, I was still the same ol’ lazy me. I can’t change overnight but I will try and definitely be a better person in the near future.

Saturday small group with Jaja and Jayvee

Fast-forward to Saturday afternoon, earlier today, another meeting with Jaja and JB. Kate didn’t come because her grandmother passed away. *sad face* Jaja encouraged us to join the mid-year prayer and fasting that will happen on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. It wasn’t my plan to participate in the first place but after thinking about it, I realized I was up for it. I was ready for something like this and it is the perfect time to test my self-control and see for myself if I can let go of my worldly habits, and of course read the word of God and meditate.

This is where me being gone for a few days comes in. HERE’S THE PLAN. Initially I had a different focus of prayer for each day, but I thought I should start with just one and devote the three days of prayer and fasting on that prayer. On Sunday, I will research a reading plan that will help me focus on my goal, and then transfer my Hillsong collection to my iPhone. On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, I will wake up early and have a big breakfast to sustain me the whole day. After that meal, I will only consume water or juices as part of my fasting. I will then attend the evening praise and worship in Victory Alabang. Throughout the day, I will not go online, not even open my laptop, turn off the wifi setting in my phone, not watch television nor listen to worldly music. Instead, I will use my time reading the Bible and/or listening to Hillsong. Monday will be my transition day for the sleeping/waking up early part, and I still have small group with Jenny. I feel good about this plan.

I am happy to be around people with the same beliefs as I am. It feels light and easy, like when I talk about faith they would understand and not make fun of me. I feel welcome, I feel heard, I don’t feel judged.